My Health, You Ask?

I think I am better. My shoulder motion is limited, and the crash in California took a serious toll, but it feels stronger.  Fortunately, stuff in front of me and below shoulder hight (where my handle bars are) seems easy to handle.  I can't do anything quick, which is a worry but doesn't seem to have contributed to the California mess so I'm not uneasy, yet.  Long distances, even in a car, are painful but can, usually, be managed.  I'm hoping the same is true for the motorcycle, not the painful part but the manageable part.  Of course, I know that just like the cancer and the heart I'm trying to squeeze too much life into a small window with the result that capacity is diminished.  Dad always took care of things right away.  And, look, he's 100 plus and still able to move about and hold up his end of a good conversation.  I wait, fearing the incapacity, and feeling 100 with little to talk about.

Right now the the most annoying thing is a very small case of Poison Ivy on my hands.  I should wear gloves in the garden around here especially if I use "town" mulch.  Dare I say, god's wrath may be subsiding a little.  Wonder what I did ... (my life maybe?)

Funny, we leave for Alaska exactly two years after my prostate surgery and I'm finally dry.  I'm not me, or anybody else, any more (the subsequent treatment for heart failure and stroke have take their own toll, too!) but, it looks like the physical pain, frustration and incapacity are manageable unless, of course, I still retain the bravado and confidence of my former self while the resultant weakness, uncertainty, and incapacity have removed the ability to dodge the now inevitable bullets.   That is, I may not have learned to live whomever I have become.  The highway is the test and California was not reassuring although mechanical failure may have played a roll - the classic cop-out.

I truly hope that this adventure will return a bit of me to me but that may be asking too much and it assumes I know who me really was, which I don't.  Joel lived the fantasy Joel when he got back out on the road and it was scary for the onlookers.  He's more himself now - three years later.  I will try to learn from that and start as a newborn.  Newborns don't care about much and that is not where I want to be but, unfortunately, I have little choice.  With luck and a open mind, I'll mature on the highway and build some confidence that will mature into a person even if it's one who is no fun and nobody recognizes. Or ... I won't. And, The Last Great Adventure will be just that.

Of myselves, Percy may have finally won out.  He's boring and a bore.  Butchy really hurt us and the group has lost faith in him.  Dino doesn't trust him any more.  And, without sex, what is poor, sweet Lily to do?  Time.  That may bring the little family back together.  Then I'll be me again.  Wouldn't that be grand?  HA! Maybe a new me would be better for my friends.  I'm really quite afraid of being the nobody I probably always have been.  I haven't seen the world change much no matter how hard I tried.  A new me may have better results.  The Archimedian lever may work but it still doesn't move the earth very far when you're dangling just 237lb off the other end.  I need a longer stick!!  Or is that schtick??